Me and Erik

Me and Erik

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

A Bit Overwhelmed

Here is a link to my IVF calendar.

Well, I finally feel as if we are really starting our IVF process. We've talked about it for so long that is seems strange that it's actually here. The first step is being on a birth control pill for 20 days. I started the pill at the beginning of the week. We also had our IVF class on Tuesday. We were in class with about 5 other couples. I'll be honest, it was a bit overwhelming. There was a ton of information thrown at us and at times it was hard to keep up. Although they will continue to send us reminders throughout the process on what I have to do for that day. At this point it is tough to look ahead and not be overwhelmed, so I have decided to just take it day by day.

The thing I am most nervous about is giving myself the shots. It's hard for me to imagine sticking a needle into my skin. Luckily most of them are given subcutaneously, meaning just under the skin,and the needles are pretty short. I have the option of giving those shots in my stomach or my thigh. Tara and I have talked about which one we would prefer to give ourselves the shot. Tara said thigh, I said stomach. The biggest thing is that I have to squeeze fat to put the shot into. My stomach seems to be the better option for that. :) There is one shot not listed on my calendar that will be given intramuscularly, in the muscle, and is a much longer needle. That one I will have Erik give me in the hip. That one is 2 shots just given one day before they go and retrieve my eggs. It's what is referred to as the "Trigger Shot".

I attached the link to my calendar of this whole process. Although it may bore most of you I will give a more detailed list of the whole process later this week because some people may be interested. For now I am tired and off to bed.

Please keep praying for us. Again this is a bit overwhelming for us both emotionally and financially. God is good and it's apparent how much He's been with us every step thus far.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

And the lesson in trusting God begins

Summer is almost gone and there seems to be alot of things that will be happening. I leave on vacation with my sister and her family on August 29th. I am so excited and need a vacation! School will be starting back up and I will be back to subbing. And even though I will miss my summer work hours I can't wait to go back and see the kids. I really love my job as a substitute teacher. I miss the kids and their hugs in the morning. :) And then next month I will officially start the IVF process.
But let's go back to my summer hours. During the summer I work 2 1/2 days at a doctors office in Clive. I love being able to have days off work this summer. Last week I was enjoying a Tuesday afternoon off and thought a nap would feel great. I had been in bed no longer then 10 min when my phone rang. It was Dr. Cooper from the fertility clinic. Well you know that lab work I wasn't worried about and in fact blogged that I was "obviously not worried about"? Dr. Cooper was calling me to let me know that my Hep C antibody lab came back positive. I didn't even know what to say. All I could get out was "Really??" He continued to tell me I would have to go to a GI doctor to get a work up. He said he would have his nurse schedule this and we hung up. I literally couldn't talk. I had to call him back 5 min later to ask more questions once I understood what he said. Hep C would not only throw a wrench in the IVF plans which was at the time concerning me the most but working at a GI clinic I know it's not something anyone would want to live with. It can be very serious and the treatment can also be a rough road and is not always curable. I could not imagine how I would have gotten this. Some of the risk factors for having Hep C is a blood transfusion before 1992, shared drug needles, tattoos (usually prison tattoos), it can also be transmitted sexually. I did not have any of these risk factors so unless some crazy doctor used a dirty needle on me or I somehow touched someones blood who was infected I was at a loss. I was so scared. I just instantly started bawling and did not stop all night. I couldn't sleep, could barely eat.
I quickly called the nurse practitioner I work for that deals with Hep C and other liver issues. She said to have them fax over the labs and we would go from there. I went into work the next day gave her the labs and she gave me a lab order to have labs done again. I went and had them done that second. I was scared and nervous waiting for the results all the while trying to trust God. The next day they came back and were negative, not detected. Thank goodness!!! It felt like a huge weight off my shoulders...I could breathe..and eat again. :)
I honestly think God is starting me now in trusting him through this whole process because things are just going to get tougher. He's warming me up. It's hard to feel not in control but this process will be the ultimate test in giving up control and putting it in the hands of God first and then the doctors.
Did I mention I'm going on vacation in a couple of weeks?? Yes, definitely needed. :) ha

Wednesday, August 4, 2010


Today I went in to do all my pre-screening test, the sonogram and IVF labs. It had been awhile since I went to the clinic by myself but Erik had to work. For some reason I was a little nervous. Doctor's offices tend to make me feel uneasy.

They called me in to get my labs then I went back to the waiting room to wait for the sonogram. I went into the room she gave me quick directions then I got ready and laid on the table. Of course this couldn't be easy. They had to use 3 different....I don't know what they are called... torture clamps (the metal tool to open your cervix). Sorry if this is too much information but this is what happened. ha ha It took them what seemed forever to find the opening to my cervix all the while they think they can twist and turn this metal object as if they had all the space in the world. Um..ouch!

Finally they got everything in place and put a catheter there so they can shoot a saline solution into the uterus to check for cyst and other abnormalities. Everything was perfect.

Now for the embarrassing part. They told me when I sat up all the saline fluid would obviously drain out. I sat up and it did. No big deal. They left the room I got dressed, started to walk out and well...suddenly there was a second gush of water and my pants were soaked. Excuse me....what just happened??? I thought I had waited for all of that to be over and was ready to walk...I guess not. I now look ridiculous, there is no hiding this. I'm praying I don't see anyone. Luckily no one was in the hall on my way out to the waiting I walked through the hallway I prayed no one would be in the waiting room. Not only were there people in the waiting room, they were sitting at an angle where I was in their direct vision as I walked all the way out the doors. They probably thought I was nuts, I bolted out that door so fast! There was no hiding that my jean were soaked and it looked like I had an accident. So embarrassing! But what can you do? ha

I'm glad everything was perfect and we have the thumbs up to start the IVF process. We have class on Aug. 24th, vacation Aug. 29th-Sept. 5th, and then it all begins. I try not to think about it and just take one day at a time.

We are so excited yet very anxious for everything that goes into this financially and emotionally. Keep us in your prayers.

Monday, August 2, 2010


We had a good weekend. Erik's brother, Ehren, and his girlfriend came to visit us yesterday and we had a good time. Erik, of course, had to work Saturday but we were able to make it to a late dinner together. We try to squeeze as much time together on the weekends as we can. He's been working 4 nights a week on top of his normal 40 hours at John Deere Credit. I am so thankful though. It's hard that he's gone working so much but I know he does it so that we can "afford" these treatments. I appreciate him more then he will ever know.
We had an appointment to meet with our doctor a little over a week ago now. At this appointment he gave us a quick overview of in vitro. He told us medically speaking that this was our next and best option. He was waiting for us to come to this decision since it's not right for everyone and you have to be ready to do it. He was very encouraging saying that he thought because of our age and history he was fairly confident that this would work. Also Mid-Iowa Fertility's success rates for in vitro our higher then average. I think average success rates are around 55% and Mid-Iowa Fertility is in the somewhere in the mid 60's %. He said one of the risk is that I could over stimulate (meaning cysts and extra fluid) but that he said he has only needed to cancel IVF one time because of this.
I can give you a quick overview but will know more after we take the IVF class. First you have to do some pre-screening tests which luckily I've already done most of them. I have an appointment on Wednesday for a Sonogram and some standard labs. The sonogram is to check for any abnormalities in the uterus. I have already had X-rays which show that should be all normal. Then the labs they have to take to make sure I don't have Hepatitis and HIV which obviously I am not worried about. :)
Then because I leave on vacation August 29th, I have to wait till I get back to start the process. I guess when I get back I have to be on birth control for 20 days. I guess this is supposed to get all of the follicles grouped together to produce eggs at the same time...I dont' really know but he said something like that. :) Then I have to give myself a couple of shots a day. I am not going to lie, this freaks me out. I hate shots!! Giving blood is different...but when they shoot something into me, that's a whole different story. It's even scarier knowing either I or Erik will have to give them to me and neither of us are a trained professional. ha ha Then I will have to be put under and they go retrieve the eggs and fertilize them that day and 5 days after that he will put them back in me. He said because of my age, as long as they are good eggs, he will put 1 or 2 back in. He will leave that decision to us. We will have our class soon on IVF so if there is anymore information I will let you know after that.
I know although this seems that the doctor is in control of all of this I know that ultimately God is. I am thankful He gives doctors the knowledge and skill to do this.
Please pray that this will work. This is the last option and I am so scared to think what will happen if this doesn't work. Again, I know God is in control and His will will be done regardless but it is still scary to think about. Thank you for praying for us during this time. It's comforting to know that alot of people are speaking to God on our behalf. How humbling!